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Esther Koch: Exercise and Friends Are the Key to Successful Aging

An elder care expert says your social network is “the elixir of life.”

At her 30^th MBA class reunion in 2009, gerontologist and consultant Esther Koch gave her classmates tips on successful aging. Since then, she was almost entirely housebound for nine months because of injuries from a bicycle accident. That prompted the 61 year old to change her own plans for the next stage of her life. Successful aging, she says, involves a willingness to recognize how important other people are to you, and to allow yourself to rebalance your lifestyle as your goals change.

Four years have passed since you talked with your Stanford GSB classmates about successful aging. Have your experiences since brought any new insights?

The tenets haven’t changed. Successful aging is not just adding years to life but putting life into those years. Social support structures, or social networks, are so important. That hit home for me when I was the primary caregiver to my mother. She had a motto: “To have a friend you must be a friend.”

Recently, I had to have a back operation and an ankle operation, which made me really understand not having physical abilities, and what that means for somebody living alone. It’s not a good combination. I was a fall risk, and I was lonely. Out of that, I made the decision to sell my house and move in with my partner, Jim. As a gerontologist, I know that living alone is not good for you physically, mentally, or emotionally, but this really hit home for me.

Are you planning to retire because of your injury?

I’m going to continue to work, but I’m going to be living in a less urban area, and smell the roses a little more. It’s Mendocino, an area where community is important, where people live community. I’ll continue to use my gerontology degree, which I currently use as a Medicareadvisor. I’m looking for those 64-year-old Baby Boomers to help them with their initial Medicareelections and annual Medicare prescription drug elections.

What’s your advice to the middle-aged and elder Americans who live alone?

Many of us in the Baby Boomer generation were brought up to be independent, and that does not bode well for successful aging. We know that not having social support has correlations with dementia and death.

Sometimes people are too late in considering how they want to live their life when they’re older. If you haven’t thought about what your needs might be as you’re older, you’re probably going to stay in the situation you are in. You lose options if you don’t plan ahead. Acknowledging aging isn’t giving into it. Not acknowledging aging is giving in because you lose options.

But isn’t it true that as we get older, we live more in the moment and do less planning ahead?

I look at that a little differently. As you get older, you have the perspective that you’re on the short end of life, so you actually have more clarity. “I’ve been there, done that, I’m not going to do this.” Life can be less dramatic, and also, people tend to see things more positively. As your time horizon shortens, you tend to focus on more emotionally meaningful goals. That’s research from the Stanford Longevity Center called the socio-emotional selectivity theory.

Do you mean that grandkids become more important than the job?

It could be grandkids, other family, or your circle of friends. As you get older you realize how little work adds to the joy in your life. At different stages of life, there are different things that give you balance. I tend to think you have more balance in your life as you get older. You have more choice of how you are going to spend your time.

You talk with young MBA students about older people in their lives. What do you discuss?

I’ve been the guest lecturer on elder care for the Work and Family class since 2007. It is a self-selected group who choose to take the class, but I’m always amazed at how many of them are already dealing with elder care, and I don’t mean their grandparents. They’re talking about their parents. They also talk about the financial responsibilities they feel they have to their parents. As men are taking more of a role in childcare, they are also more involved with elder care. The questions that tend to come up are about sibling relationships, not so much about taking on responsibilities for parents, but how I work it out with my siblings.

What is your advice on dealing with siblings?

The bottom line is to work on what is fair. Within a family, not everybody can do the same thing. One person may be able to provide more monetary input. Another person may be the closest to the parent, so they take on a role based on proximity. Another person may be mom or dad’s favorite, so they play that role. It doesn’t need to be equal, but it does need to be fair.

Another point is that somebody has to be the leader. And the other siblings can’t be shooting potshots at the leader. Conversely, that leader cannot have unyielding power. There has to be mutual respect.

What about finding balance for people who have small children and elders to care for?

We call that the sandwich generation, and that does come in when people have had children later in life, so they’re getting care responsibilities on both ends. Caregiver stress is real, so you need to find the balance that works for you. In some respects, it’s maintaining boundaries, that there’s only so much you can do for your parent, or so much you can do for your child, and you need to have a segment for you.

If you come from a functional family, caregiver stress sneaks up on you, because you want to do these things for your parents and/or your children. If you’re in a dysfunctional family, it can be just as stressful, but the cause of the stress is the perceived burden in that you don’t want to be doing this.

What do you mean by dysfunctional family?

Families that don’t work well together: I hate my mother; I hate my father; or I never liked my brother and sister since the sandbox. Forgiveness is really the only way to break through dysfunctional families. If you don’t forgive, you lose today and you lose the future. It’s like you’re lost in the past.

To get to forgiveness, think of your deathbed. Is that when you want to have the “aha moment” where you realize how much of life you wasted?

What are the two most important things to know about successful aging?

First and foremost is building and maintaining a social support network, which is primarily for most people the family, but it can also be family by choice. Your spouse is your most important relationship, but you can’t ignore other people in your life. You see that consistently across the globe in studies on successful aging.

I’m seeing more and more situations where people network around their interests. Some people join the gym when they’re retired, and they meet people that way. Two retired men I know met walking in the same place. One was in management and the other in a union. They started walking together and having conversations.

The other thing that is key is physical exercise. Exercise is so beneficial to your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. It’s the best prescription for health that a doctor can give you. But the social network is really the elixir of life.

Esther Koch received her MBA from Stanford Graduate School of Business in 1979. She is a consultant on Medicare and other aging advisory services through her firm Encore Management.

This is What Wi-Fi Looks Like

Wireless internet. This wonderful hidden energy all around all of us that connects us to people and then websites around the world. But what if you could basically see wireless internet? Exactly what would it be like? That is precisely the question artist Nickolay Lamm has wanted to answer. With the help of Astrobiologist M. Browning Vogel, he launched a number of images representing just what wi-fi would look like if it turns out to be visible to the human eye.

Wifi is an energy field that is transmitted as waves. The waves have a certain height, distance between them and travel at a certain speed. The distance between wifi waves is shorter than that of radio waves and longer than that of microwaves, giving wifi a unique transmission band that can’t be interrupted by other signals. This image shows an idealized wifi data transmitted over a band that is divided into different sub-channels, which are shown in red, yellow, green and other colors.

 

20 Things 20-Year-Olds Don’t Get

I started Docstoc in my 20’s, made the cover of one of those cliché “20 Under 20” lists, and today I employ an amazing group of 20-somethings.  Call me a curmudgeon, but at 34, how I came up seems so different from what this millennial generation expects.  I made a lot of mistakes along the way, and I see this generation making their own.  In response, here are my 20 Things 20-Year-Olds Don’t Get.

Time is Not a Limitless Commodity – I so rarely find young professionals that have a heightened sense of urgency to get to the next level.  In our 20s we think we have all the time in the world to A) figure it out and B) get what we want.  Time is the only treasure we start off with in abundance, and can never get back.  Make the most of the opportunities you have today, because there will be a time when you have no more of it.

You’re Talented, But Talent is Overrated - Congratulations, you may be the most capable, creative, knowledgeable & multi-tasking generation yet.  As my father says, “I’ll Give You a Sh-t Medal.”  Unrefined raw materials (no matter how valuable) are simply wasted potential.  There’s no prize for talent, just results.  Even the most seemingly gifted folks methodically and painfully worked their way to success.  (Tip: read “Talent is Overrated”)

We’re More Productive in the Morning – During my first 2 years at Docstoc (while I was still in my 20’s) I prided myself on staying at the office until 3am on a regular basis.  I thought I got so much work done in those hours long after everyone else was gone.  But in retrospect I got more menial, task-based items done, not the more complicated strategic planning, phone calls or meetings that needed to happen during business hours.  Now I stress an office-wide early start time because I know, for the most part, we’re more productive as a team in those early hours of the day.

Pick Up the Phone – Stop hiding behind your computer. Business gets done on the phone and in person.  It should be your first instinct, not last, to talk to a real person and source business opportunities.  And when the Internet goes down… stop looking so befuddled and don’t ask to go home.  Don’t be a pansy, pick up the phone.

Be the First In & Last to Leave ­– I give this advice to everyone starting a new job or still in the formative stages of their professional career.  You have more ground to make up than everyone else around you, and you do have something to prove.  There’s only one sure-fire way to get ahead, and that’s to work harder than all of your peers.

Don’t Wait to Be Told What to Do – You can’t have a sense of entitlement without a sense of responsibility.  You’ll never get ahead by waiting for someone to tell you what to do.  Saying “nobody asked me to do this” is a guaranteed recipe for failure.  Err on the side of doing too much, not too little.  (Watch: Millennials in the Workplace Training Video)

Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes – You should be making lots of mistakes when you’re early on in your career.  But you shouldn’t be defensive about errors in judgment or execution.  Stop trying to justify your F-ups.  You’re only going to grow by embracing the lessons learned from your mistakes, and committing to learn from those experiences.

You Should Be Getting Your Butt Kicked –Meryl Streep in “The Devil Wears Prada” would be the most valuable boss you could possibly have.  This is the most impressionable, malleable and formative stage of your professional career.  Working for someone that demands excellence andpushes your limits every day will build the most solid foundation for your ongoing professional success.

A New Job a Year Isn’t a Good Thing ­­– 1-year stints don’t tell me that you’re so talented that you keep outgrowing your company.  It tells me that you don’t have the discipline to see your own learning curve through to completion.  It takes about 2-3 years to master any new critical skill, give yourself at least that much time before you jump ship.  Otherwise your resume reads as a series of red flags on why not to be hired.

People Matter More Than Perks – It’s so trendy to pick the company that offers the most flex time, unlimited meals, company massages, game rooms and team outings.  Those should all matter, but not as much as the character of your founders and managers. Great leaders will mentor you and will be a loyal source of employment long after you’ve left.  Make a conscious bet on the folks you’re going to work for and your commitment to them will pay off much more than those fluffy perks.

Map Effort to Your Professional Gain – You’re going to be asked to do things you don’t like to do.  Keep your eye on the prize.   Connect what you’re doing today, with where you want to be tomorrow.  That should be all the incentive you need.  If you can’t map your future success to your current responsibilities, then it’s time to find a new opportunity.

Speak Up, Not Out – We’re raising a generation of sh-t talkers.  In your workplace this is a cancer.  If you have issues with management, culture or your role & responsibilities, SPEAK UP.  Don’t take those complaints and trash-talk the company or co-workers on lunch breaks and anonymous chat boards.  If you can effectively communicate what needs to be improved, you have the ability to shape your surroundings and professional destiny.

You HAVE to Build Your Technical Chops – Adding “Proficient in Microsoft Office” at the bottom of your resume under Skills, is not going to cut it anymore.  I immediately give preference to candidates who are ninjas in: Photoshop, HTML/CSS, iOS, WordPress, Adwords, MySQL, Balsamiq, advanced Excel, Final Cut Pro – regardless of their job position.  If you plan to stay gainfully employed, you better complement that humanities degree with some applicable technical chops.

Both the Size and Quality of Your Network Matter – It’s who you know more than what you know, that gets you ahead in business.  Knowing a small group of folks very well, or a huge smattering of contacts superficially, just won’t cut it.  Meet and stay connected to lots of folks, and invest your time developing as many of those relationships as possible. (TIP: Here is myNetworking Advice)

You Need At Least 3 Professional Mentors – The most guaranteed path to success is to emulate those who’ve achieved what you seek.  You should always have at least 3 people you call mentors who are where you want to be.  Their free guidance and counsel will be the most priceless gift you can receive.  (TIP:  “The Secret to Finding and Keeping Mentors”)

Pick an Idol & Act “As If” – You may not know what to do, but your professional idol does.  I often coach my employees to pick the businessperson they most admire, and act “as if.”  If you were (fill in the blank) how would he or she carry themselves, make decisions, organize his/her day, accomplish goals?  You’ve got to fake it until you make it, so it’s better to fake it as the most accomplished person you could imagine.   (Shout out to Tony Robbins for the tip)

Read More Books, Fewer Tweets/Texts – Your generation consumes information in headlines and 140 characters:  all breadth and no depth.  Creativity, thoughtfulness and thinking skills are freed when you’re forced to read a full book cover to cover.  All the keys to your future success, lay in the past experience of others.  Make sure to read a book a month  (fiction or non-fiction) and your career will blossom.

Spend 25% Less Than You Make – When your material needs meet or exceed your income, you’re sabotaging your ability to really make it big.  Don’t shackle yourself with golden handcuffs (a fancy car or an expensive apartment).  Be willing and able to take 20% less in the short term, if it could mean 200% more earning potential.  You’re nothing more than penny wise and pound-foolish if you pass up an amazing new career opportunity to keep an extra little bit of income.  No matter how much money you make, spend 25% less to support your life.  It’s a guaranteed formula to be less stressed and to always have the flexibility to pursue your dreams.

Your Reputation is Priceless, Don’t Damage It – Over time, your reputation is the most valuable currency you have in business.  It’s the invisible key that either opens or closes doors of professional opportunity.  Especially in an age where everything is forever recorded and accessible, your reputation has to be guarded like the most sacred treasure.  It’s the one item that, once lost, you can never get back.

Social Media is Not a Career – These job titles won’t exist in 5 years. Social media is simply a function of marketing; it helps support branding, ROI or both.  Social media is a means to get more awareness, more users or more revenue.  It’s not an end in itself.  I’d strongly caution against pegging your career trajectory solely to a social media job title.

Skora Running Sneakers

First we fell in love with the city-ready look of Skora, a new “natural” sneaker brand from Portland, Oregon. Then we fell in love with the shoe itself.


Since we received a pair, it is pretty much all we’ve been wearing around town, on the beach or running, to the gym, to work, to yoga. They are super comfortable and light, and they make us feel like we’re floating or walking on clouds. They feel totally natural, almost like being barefoot, only better! And that is just what the designers intended.

Skora was founded by David Sypiewski, a well-funded entrepreneur and formerly injured runner.

His shoes, like so many of the new, minimalist running shoes crowding the market today, are based on the notion that humans were designed to run shoeless, and that most running shoes overcorrect the human foot’s natural ability to adjust and function. Rather than piling up more features, more support, more cushioning and more everything, the minimalist or natural shoe designers start from the bare foot and its inherent abilities.

Skora’s first two models are based on a last that is shaped like the natural arch, and they have no height drop from heel to toe. The mid-foot hits the ground first, not the heel as with most running shoes.

In addition to loving the look of the shoes and loving the amazing feeling of wearing them, we also love their branding. The website is easy to navigate and the entire brand works. We are definitely fans. - Bill Tikos

AARK Collective Watches - Melbourne

Not that anyone really needs a watch to check the time. We all carry more than enough devices that inform us of the time, or more commonly, the lack thereof.

Maybe that is why there is a nice retro feel in the whole idea of wearing a watch. I dare you to rush me! Let me just check the time on my watch and see if I care to rush!


We are certainly fans of cool time pieces here at TCH, so when we were introduced to the Melbourne-based AÃRK Collective our interest was immediate.


We love the minimalist, serious craftsmanship of not just the watches and every detail inside and out, but also the packaging.


The attention to every detail honours the craftsmanship, the timeless craftsmanship, of the entire experience. These are not jewellery or pretentiously magnanimous investment pieces for sheer show-off.


These are practical yet beautiful. Form and function. Minimalist and cool. Just what we love. We’ve ordered our Yolk Yellow watches. Now, if only time would fly a little faster…Tuija Seipell